The random rants and meaningful musings of seven digital divas (who happen to have MS)

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Ball Bags!

Candy Cane
Well, it's Tuesday 5th of June, the day of my driving test... only guess what.... I had to cancel!

Unfortunately this time it's nothing to do with my health.. in fact I wish it was! My big brother died in a motorbike accident 2 weeks ago, and frankly there is just no way I could get behind the wheel of a car at the moment. Not to mention I'm bloody knackered!

It took 10 days for us to plan the funeral, with the post mortem, bank holiday, inquest, and the obligatory family feud. By the time I got there I was dead on my feet.

The stress hasn't so much effected my arms and legs, which is lucky as I now have 2 children and a sister-in-law to help look after. Unluckily, from the moment the policeman knocked on my door to tell us about the accident my bladder went into spasm. My sister-in-law also has ME so she is my main concern. (And yes funky mango.... I know if I don't look after myself I'm no use to anyone else)

On Friday (just gone) I went 24 hours without a pee, ended up in casualty by 10pm... had to wait another 2 hours before they hooked me up with a catheter and you should have seen the bag when they had finished draining my bladder... it literally took the piss! There was 500ml in the bag... and a remaining 100ml in my bladder by the time they had finished at 2am (frankly i didn't care about the last 100ml, I just wanted that bloody tube out my wotsit and to crawl back into my nice comfy bed). Apparently our bladders are designed to hold between 350-450ml of urine... man I must have been ready to pop! I'm surprised noone asked when i was due!

Anyway, this morning I've been to the wee nurse to learn how to self catheterise. I know lots of people fight this and really don't want to do it. But hey, what's all the fuss about? I mean... I've been having periods for 10 years now so I'm quite used to aiming 'down there' as it were. noone has to know what you're doing. you can hide the wee lipstick catheters in that little pouch at the back of your handbag were you keep your tampons (and cigarettes when your parents still don't know you smoke at 21 :-s ) and you go off and do it in private. I feel in no way undignified, or less of a woman. In fact by doing it i feel i can reclaim being more of a woman. It's better than being sore, uncomfortable, prone to infection, and worrying about dribbly bits when you're having sex! (I blame him.... messy bugger ;-) ). C'mon girls, get catheterising! (Sorry I'm not encouraging you boys but frankly you have it easy, yours is much more accessible and dangly you just gotta stop being so squeamish!)
This might seem like a strange entry, jumping from my brothers untimely death to catheters but its been a loooong and eventful 2 weeks. i would just like to finish by paying tribute to my big brother, he was a miserable git but I wouldn't have had him any other way. Goodbye Patrick, I Love you xx


shop-till-you-drop said...

Hi Candy cane, Lovely to see you back. Cant belive how unluckly you are with test dates, but they say good things come to those who wait....

Good on you about being so matter of fact about using a catheter at home, like you say us girls are used to messying around down there, so its just one more trick to learn. Its great to hear someone talking about it in a postive sense, must be much more empowering than turning up at casulty in pain, and have to go through the indignity of having someone else to do for you.
Sure you be an expert beofore you know it :)
Must go need a wee after all that!

Anonymous said...

Oh CC I am so sorry to read about your brother. Shame you had to cancel your test again but it's understandable under the circumstances. Also I understand your concern for you sis in law (I know all about ME as that is what Kier has!!!). Just remember to watch yourself too :-)

As for the catheterisation, well done you, it is something that I always dread and reading your blog put my mind at ease (a little I still dread the idea if it ever happens - I do retain some fluid but so far not suffered any UTI's).

Candy Cane said...

i dont retain, i just cant get it out in the first place! your pee hole is actually alot bigger than you think you know, doesnt hurt and it slips in quite easily. the only part of the whole process i found demeaning (and i'm only telling you this because i'm anonymous) is i was advised to stuff my floozy with a piece of gauze so if i miss and hit the wrong hole i dont transfer bacteria from my flooze to my pee pipe. luckily i only have to continue that practice untill i perfect my aim.

Herrad said...

hello candy,
read your piece about catheters.
someone told me you can only use them a few times then you have to be surgically adjusted for permennent that right or have i misunderstood and got all worried for nothing?
regards, herrad
link to my blog: