The random rants and meaningful musings of seven digital divas (who happen to have MS)

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Confused Female

When do you stop hurting ?

When does a broken heart heal? People say to give it time, but sometimes it is these same people who then drag out the pain by throwing salt in the wounds time and time again.

I don't want to bore you with tales of a broken hearted female, but I long for the time when I can think freely without wanting to turn to a drink to soften the pain, without me waking up in the middle of the night just to turn over, cry and fall back into a fitful sleep.

How long does it take ? The answer "time", it is always time. Good old time can do so much, but it lacks personality, it lacks the ability to give me a hug and make everything ok again for me. It cannot turn wrongs into right, nor can it heal scars that run deep in the sub conscious. Time, magical and mysterious, constant and reliable, but does it really do any good ?

"You'll be alright duck" - Will I ? Who are they to say for sure ? I don't feel like I will ever be alright again.

I have my Grandmother staying for a week or two, perhaps three, I don't know and neither does anyone else it seems. She is a lovely woman, but she never stops whining. She finds things to complain about all the time, even when there is nothing she still manages to find something. Her mobility isn't great, far better than it was a few months ago though, so going out anywhere is like a military exercise !!! I know it is not her fault, but with me having to work out whether I can go somewhere and do something is hard enough, now we have a second person who is worse than me. It gives us both something to giggle about.

We are quite the fashion parade as when we go out we take our sticks, hers is blue strips and mine is purple and pink circles. We may need to have sticks but we won't be dull, it's not in our nature you see ;-)

Happy Easter or Passover or whatever you are celebrating this week.

Have a great week and good health, or great health and a good week.

All the best

Smokey xXx


Candy Cane said...

That stick sounds nice, where did you get it??? he he

Smokey said...

From a darling and brilliant friend who means the world to me.

I owe her so much

Funky Mango said...

*hugs smokey*

My stick is green and brown and silver stripes...sort of camouflage :-)

Smokey said...

**hugs funky**

Sounds like a wicked stick :-)

Candy Cane said...

I'm sure you dont owe her anything, apart from being her friend xx